Cinema Vultures

This watersprite's a movie-buff. Keeps an eye out for true stories, chick-flicks, comedies. Goes without saying that I love watching them on the big screen. In Karachi finding a theatre, screening a latest Hollywood flick is out of the question. So every trip to Dubai sees me making atleast one excursion to the numerous cinemas sprouting around like wild mushrooms.

This trip is no exception, maybe the difference lies in my frequency. Anyways, those visits got boxed in the "Sprite's hibernation period Feb 2006"

So, where was I...hmmm - yes my over-indulgence of visual treats on the big screen. Dubaiites seem to have grasped the whole theatre-going-culture with both hands as a major form of entertainment. And my siblings and I are right there with the lot of them.

Very rarely does it happen that I get to sit next to some stranger, but when it does, the results aren’t very pleasant and the after-shocks of that movie are long remembered.

Take for instance:

The late show for Four Feathers : I got the seat next to a rotund Arab, clad in his dishdasha (thoub- a long white traditional arabic dress), who probably didn’t understand a word of English, since he was busy reading the sub-titles and asking his friend to translate. Okay,I am not a heartless Sprite that cant understand about language barriers, but what really got me annoyed was that he had taken over MY elbow-rest, was sitting in his seat – yoga style,(couldn’t imagine how he managed to fit) happily slurping away on some drink, and every time a romantic scene came on he and his friend would have a conference, a loud one at that and he’d start jumping in his seat. With all his shaking, my seat would jiggle too. I wish I could have clobbered him! And to be honest there weren’t any sizzling lip-locks between Heath Ledger and Kate Hudson but the mini-gorilla sitting next to me seemed to think he was watching the Kama Sutra!!! Every time someone mentions Four Feathers – I groan out loud.

Casanova: I get to sit next to three guys, citizens of some Arab country. Inwardly I growl: "Not again!" Since I was already sitting, a whispered conference ensued and the prized seat went to the lucky guy in the red-T. I squeezed myself into the right side of the seat hoping he would be a decent sort. Thankfully they were well mannered, considering it was Casanova we were watching. But he did take over my elbow-rest! And for the first time, I was thankful to the UAE censorship board!

Walk-the-Line: My sis and I had to pick some stuff from the Mall, and since I'd been wanting to watch Walk the Line, we decided to take in the early show. At that hour the halls are practical empty. We got ourselves a whole row. After half an hour I feel something against my elbow, on investigating I see toes against my elbow-rest. I glance back to see an Arab, in his white thoub. I make a disgusted face, reconsider, put it down to unintentional and move my elbow out of range. The oaf keeps his foot wedged in between the two seats! Since, he kept getting up to answer his blasted cell phone, I decided to move up the row. Thinking he must have gotten the hint, only to have him sit behind me and stick his dirty toes again and touch my elbow! Eeeewwwhhh, that did it! I was so close to creating a scene, I got up and turned around to glare at him! He wiggled his toes!!!! The pervert. Lecherous foot behaviour! I may have forgiven him once, but those were a dirty bunch of toes, the big bulbous toe sticking out, bringing to mind slimy, eel-like creatures. What on earth was he trying to do? Say hi with his foot? Some way to get a girl's attention. Awful, absolutely awful! I stormed down the row and plunked my rear-end farther-est from the odious man! After which he got up and left! He had ruined my movie! I went home thinking: ThankGod I was wearing full-sleeves! But just to be sure, I gave my elbows an extra scrub.

Was waiting outside the counters of the cinema halls for my sisters, when I am approached by a Malbari man (South Indian) in a bright orange shirt, jeans , oily hair, oily skin– he has the audacity to ask me which movie I am going for!! I’m shocked speechless. Do I look like I'm standing there to be picked up!!! That too by some wannabe stud! I give my dirtiest look and say: "NONE!" Then walk off, praying that my siblings would hurry up. He starts wandering around the same area, giving me creepy looks. That does it, Im outta there. I was of the mind to go and complain to the nearest security guard. Dubai police takes serious measures against stalking and harassment. That’s the reason it rarely happens, but I sure seem to attract the biggest weirdos around.

A friend of mine labeled me WEIRDO MAGNET, not because of the aforementioned happenings, but because of the weirdos I meet on my frequent flights between Dubai and Karachi. Now that’s material for another post. Some other time.

Family and friends have a good laugh over the peculiar happenings in my life, the conclusion that is drawn each and every time is that its my face, I look too innocent! What a joke!

Its Thursday tomorrow am thinking of going and watching a chick flick. Hope don’t attract any vultures.