Am/Was in Hibernation

The extreme, nerve-racking, chaotic past couple of months had created an upheaval of such magnitude that I felt adrift on stormy seas. Crashing into one wave after another. So churned up inside that everything was magnified. Felt too much, or didn’t feel at all. Smiled when I wanted to cry. Losses. So many changes. New chapters. New additions. Happiness underlined with sorrow. By the end of it all I was close to breaking down. So I did what I do best, re-treat in my shell. Live in my shadow. Go into hibernation.

I’m known to pull a Houdini pretty often. Its just me wanting time out from everything. Time to recharge my batteries and go ahead full-steam. Wish the Atlas had really Shrugged.

All other aspirations, cravings, needs are put on the back burner. Am diligently satisfying the yearnings of a nearly arid mind. From almost voraciously devouring books, to indulging my senses to a visual treat on the big-screen to slumbering around the clock. I don’t know what’s happening in the world unless it is put right under my nose. Family, friends, work all seem eons away. They are my constants yet sometimes I need to sever the umbilical cord just enough to feel free. I know its an illusion, yet I need it to maintain my sanity.

I think Hani hit the target with his analytical deduction of where I maybe. Yes, Ive stepped into my own Narnia.

Been listening to “Dil ke Lagee” by Nazia Hussain. I just love her nos. This one is a favourite. Credit goes to Samay for putting it on her blog as a reminder.